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You're Cute When You Scream


Im Comin Over But It Never Was Enough------I Thought It Through------And My Worst Brings Out The Best In You----
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HAHAHAHAHA [24 Nov 2004|05:53pm]
[ mood | amused ]

wow, people have lives, seriously, if im so worthless, then why bother reading my fucking livejournal, honestly, whos the loser? the person who has the livejournal, or the person who reads the livejournal and then comments on it? i take the latter of the two, and pat, you really need to stop talking shit about me, becuz when i see you, im going to knock your teeth out of your mouth you fucking pussy

cheers!


oh, and to don from cyberjocks, i laugh at you, you call me a bitch, yet i kicked you into the fucking table and you didnt do shit, you didnt even try to act raw after that you weak bitch, you arent shit and never will be and ill ruin you any day of the week and im not talking about video games faggot, im talking about reality.

6 Said I Was Romantic| ..Until The Gun Went Off

[18 Nov 2004|09:14am]
[ mood | amused ]

DisorderRating
Paranoid:Very High
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Very High
Antisocial:High
Borderline:Very High
Histrionic:High
Narcissistic:High
Avoidant:High
Dependent:Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --



Paranoid
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships with others. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant to others. They usually shift blame to others and tend to carry long grudges.


Schizoid
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."

Schizotypal
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.


Antisocial
A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.

Borderline
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.


Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

Narcissistic
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

Avoidant
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

Dependent
Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.




Im OFFICIALLY... fucked up.
1 Said I Was Romantic| ..Until The Gun Went Off

[16 Nov 2004|05:17am]
[ mood | crappy ]

It's so nice sitting very still,
in a room where no one else can feel
the pain that breaks my heart each day, I'm not ok.
Sunlight shining through my window,
let's me know that I'm still alive
Why did I ever let you inside my heart? I'm such a fool.
Paint my face in shades of blood and grey
and take the seat right next to me
But I should've known that you were a killer. But now I'm dead.

A gaping hole, shot through my heart
A lost connection from your poison dart
Shot from your tounge to end my life.
But if you're blowing at the fire to light your strife.

You'll never know. You'll never know.
The hardest thing about dying is, knowing you'll never see the light of day.

A gaping hole shot...(shot through my heart)
A lost connection from your poison dart.
My head now spins and my ears bleed gold.
I try so fucking hard, but I can't fit your mold.

The hardest thing about dying is, knowing you'll never see the light of day.

You ripped my heart out, you tore my eyes out, now you're gonna pay
I'll stab you one time.
I'll eat your heart out so you feel my pain.
Don't you know that I always see you in all of my dreams?
I wanna kill you. I wanna kill you. Now I'm insane.

..Until The Gun Went Off

[15 Oct 2004|09:49am]
x_lovexmexemo
..Until The Gun Went Off

hmm [15 Oct 2004|07:03am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

So today was fun, i went to the outdoor dance at north to check it out and ashley astridge gave me her pin to get into the dance, and then i got treated like an absolute celebrity, i felt so special, id have to say the highlight of the night was when tom glover and mark verstreet explained to me that im a legend at Williamsville North high school, funny, ive never stepped foot in the place, how a reputation can preceed someone, and me here thinking i was just a common nobody, and of course all the usual people youd expect to see were there, droopy wejo and their crowd, hannah michelle lindsay krista and meghan rhummings, and that crowd, and i also made good with brent mackey which i suppose is better than beating the shit out of him, seeing as it proves nothing, he already proved that he would never try shit with me, so its fine, what else, oh, so me and dave and others were driving around and had an uneventful night as usual, i wish my girlfriend didnt have practice tomorrow, i would love to spend time with her on a friday night, before my life gets hectic again when i have to move, so its 7 am, and im wired up from 3 espressos, thinking about gina and my life as a whole, my mom is also awake right next to me listening to depressing music from like the 1930-50's, which i feel is a very depressing era, becuz it was the greatest decades of american history, and i never got to see them, and ill never get to see them, and on the day i die, all i will be able to say is, hey i saw the 90's to (fill in blank), what a disaster that was, no one will remember me, i just hope im still with gina when that time comes, although its a little early to say that, i think when im with her, everything is ok, and i havent been able to feel this way for a long time

wow...longest journal entry yet, and no one even reads them, i am truly a loser.

Ten seconds left
until midnight
nine chances to drown ourselves
in black hair dye
eight faces turned away
from the shock:
seven windows and six of them
were locked
five stories falling
forever and ever
three cheers to the mirror
now there are two of us
can we have one last dance?

6 Said I Was Romantic| ..Until The Gun Went Off

... [15 Oct 2004|04:06am]
HASH(0x8b41510)
You are purple. What a romantic person you are.
You're sentimental and forward-looking (those
are opposites.). You're a sophisticated and
refined--with a refind taste for chocolates and
wine (yum...). Tempermental and moody, you let
people know when you're angry. But other
times, you just sit and sulk. Alone. When
around people, you're a generous person, with
insatiable needs. You're a starving artist,
basically. You're enjoy getting into debates
over politics and religion with people of the
same intelligence of you. But you know they
can never convince you otherwise, you stubborn
person, you. As a unique person you are (not
to mention just a tad bit eccentric...), you're
well-liked by either a few people, or too many
people...


What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
..Until The Gun Went Off

=\ [15 Oct 2004|03:59am]
You see the world in Gray
Gray:
You poor, depressed child. A rain cloud seems to
follow you everywhere. The worst has always got
to happen doesn't it? Life is miserable.



What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla
..Until The Gun Went Off

yay! [14 Oct 2004|12:28am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

so today was an awesome day, me and gina spent time together and the day was good, every day i fall more and more in love with her. i didnt do anything else besides that, but thats fine, its about 3:30am and i just finished watching the presidential debate, i watched john kerry own george bush's existence, it was pretty clear that kerry won, now im about to take a shower and head to bed

Nite Kids

 

And it's 4am and we will stalk again
The princess and her bitter queen.
On the 4th day of July
Deep in summers eye,
Naked like the truth should always be.

..Until The Gun Went Off

hmph [13 Oct 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | content ]

So yeah, i went to school today and officially dropped out, now i gotta take my GED classes, i gotta get muhself a J-o-B, fun! so me and pat had a swell fight today, over something ridiculous as usual, and obviously i had nothing better to do, so i fucked with him a little just to make him angry becuz he was being ridiculous, i went to besta with dean and others and chilled out and had some food, on another note, i am absolutly head over heels in love with Gina, shes everything i'd ever want in a girl (including me ;P)i hope shes as happy with me as i am with her,becuz i cannt remember being this happy in a long long time

..Until The Gun Went Off

[08 Oct 2004|11:58am]
[ mood | blah ]

so last night i went with dave to ginas friend pauls house, and i met jesse and paul and anna and they were pretty fuckin cool, jesse reminds me of pat, and we all chilled out and then we went to media play and i went nuts because elvis was there and i was runnign around screaming THE KING LIVES!, and then we went back to pauls and me and gina layed around for a while, while everyone else watched porn, it was pretty cool ;-D

 

I gave you these roses now but I left in the thorns
I'd rather hurt someone than hurt myself

..Until The Gun Went Off

agh [06 Oct 2004|08:42pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

*sigh*...i need a job, i dont even know where to start looking, i dont want to quit school, but i dont want to go either, im so confused about what to do with my life, i dont want to move, but at the same time i dont give a shit really, all im concerned about is getting a shit a car and getting the fuck away from this life, plus i want to make a band and be something, my head hurts from all this contemplation.





You say that you want respect
Well then you better get some for yourself.
'Cause all that I see right now,
Is someone who's lost and insecure.

..Until The Gun Went Off

ehhhhhh [04 Oct 2004|03:33pm]
[ mood | loved ]

so yesterday i played football all day, and it was alright, but i chilled with dean and i havent ina while so it was alright, but when i was playing on like no sleep whatsoever i was practically dead, but its fine becuz i ran like 8 or 9 touchdowns, and today i woke up and called gina, speaking of gina, i love her so much its hard to even describe, i think of her every second of my day, when im with her i cant even describe my happiness, shes my everything becuz i make it that way, and i dont mind at all, becuz shes just great, my heart melts when im around her..



And I wanted you to know
It was you that we were thinking of as we quietly died in the snow
A place we'd never leave
A place we'd never want to call home

...A place we'd call a final resting place in pieces

1 Said I Was Romantic| ..Until The Gun Went Off

buahahaha [03 Oct 2004|07:53am]
So i changed the look of my journal and its pretty badass now, and im gonna make it even sweeter, it is now 8 in the morning, and ive been up all night and i dont know why, but i dont feel like sleeping, i love gina and i keep thinking about her and all that cute sweet stuff

Keith Buckley enjoys:
1) making lists
2) the number two
3) endings.
1 Said I Was Romantic| ..Until The Gun Went Off

um...right [03 Oct 2004|03:12am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

So i wasted another day doing a bunch of nothing, today was my moms birthday, i forgot to say happy birthday but she didnt say it to me on my birthday, so i dont feel too bad, i hung out in jackson square with tons of old faces and it was extremely cold out, i think every day i like gina more and more, on top of loving her...i feel like i wanna do something but i dont know what, i need a job and i think i will get one soon.




Your eyes tell the stories of a day you wish you could
Recall the moments that once have
Retrack the footsteps that brought us to this favor
...I wouldn't ask this of you

..Until The Gun Went Off

bah! [01 Oct 2004|03:03am]
[ mood | calm ]

So i chilled with gina all day, and loved it, shes so great i love being around her, then we went with dave to the reservation so he could get cigarettes, then we came back to my house and my mom violated my "do not disturb if my door is closed" policy, and then me gina and dave went to frightworld and got kicked out but it was gay as hell anyway, and then me and gina came to my house and hung out for a little bit before her dad turned into a tool and had to come pick her up, then me dave and aleksey went out to play pool, and it was kinda gay, then i came home and went to sleep




So lets play doctor babe
We'll operate today
Incisions must be made
You could help solve this case

For me...

..Until The Gun Went Off

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